Thursday, April 4, 2019

Unstoppable

It has been a long time that I've come to see you. You. The stranger. The unknown. But I have come here well. This blog has always been about my journey and I would like to tell you where I am. I am in a lovely place. I am doing exactly the kind of work that I have been always wanting to do. With the beauty of rigor and joy of impact, I am in a world where I have the power to make a difference. Untethered. Unstoppable.

The bruises live on inside me, reminding me of the times when I didn't feel so much power over my life and my choices. I have grown out from the days of struggles and have started to feel like a normal human being. I think of my parents every now and then. I have reminiscences of my life with them but it feels so far away in time. It was a different life. It was a different person who was with them. The bruises don't hurt. They are a beautiful pain.

I have made a few of the most trustworthy friends in my life in the last two years. I have felt one with them. A feeling of community enveloped around me in their presence. They replenished me and brought their joy into my life. This was an extremely important development for me because when I was tired and exhausted from life and looking for meaning, finding friends who love you can just give a new meaning to you.

I have now turned into a woman who needs a hair dye to hide my wisdom. There are a lot of people around me who defines a woman with marriage and children. I have definitely decided against the latter and have been questioning the need for the first. I met the most evolved and rock-solid guy 6 years ago who has been the biggest anchor for making me become a strong and independent person. Him and my inner fire that has grown brighter every year.

Stanford changed me. Vipassana transformed me. Yoga changed me too. My work experiences gave me solid grounds. I am onto a new journey this year. The longest I have taken in a while. I am heading for a Ph.D. at Columbia for the next five years. I am going to be a Dr, not a Miss or Mrs.

I loved many things about the field of education. But there is this concept called intergenerational mobility in education that I have been hooked onto most. A girl, whose parents can barely talk in English, studied in an English-medium school where other than the books, nothing was in English. This girl's mother had an ambition for her which she gently and compassionately inculcated in her. The fire that her mother lighted inside her has taken this girl to places already.

A middle-class girl studying in an average school in India in a very small town got extremely lucky for the data will tell you that it is a highly unlikely outcome. It was her parents' education and life choices that have brought her here. And their legacy shines onto her and her sisters after they are gone. Cheers to the field of education which I feel deeply connected with, which chose me and gave me space to become what I have.