Sunday, June 3, 2018

Graduating soon.

Stanford has been the most privileged place I have ever lived in. There are a lot of things here that I never had before, Being in privilege can make you less whining. I feel less inadequate after coming here because in general, I got challenged but I mostly thrived.

But this is a place of an extreme solitary life. When I spend weekends in the library, there are so many other people like me who are sitting alone and working. There are 23 libraries for people to hide from the crowd and immerse in their space. There could be weekdays too when you can choose not to interact with anyone. Because for most of the day, I haven't talked to anyone, I end up with barely managing to say Hi to someone. One can pass a day without talking to anyone and still with work run rate of 14 hours. This is drastically different from my work life in India where you don't even drink chai alone let alone lunch or dinner or work alone.

It's not that I don't make friends easily. I have made some really close friends but practically no one has time because they are all ambitious people around here. We want to maximize the number of courses we take, number of people we are able to meet, number of weekly hours we go to the gym. When you make those choices, social life takes a hit. And then few of the days you meet a prodigy, a genius, people with a magic wand and their halo makes you want to push yourself harder to match the awesomeness.

There are some evenings that are not bad. Like the last night. Three of us Indians sat down over a bottle of whiskey and discussed every left and right issues of the planet, fought over the songs to play, settled on a DJ arrangement, discussed crushes etc. just to feel familiar with what we have left behind back home. These kind of days are helpful for surviving here.

I am graduating in less than 3 weeks from now. I have almost made it in this place. Exhaustion is kicking in but so is the sense of learning and growth. I love how life never disappoints me. It comes with lots of promises. I have gone through a fair share of grief but I know it made me humble to embrace the enormity of an institution like Stanford. I am going to surely miss this place. This was beautiful, more beautiful because of my solitary days. No better way to be with myself.

No comments:

Post a Comment