Sunday, May 4, 2014

When are you going back?

I began my day with having an Omlette at Caltex. My sister and I just love having Omlettes here. It has been a tradition for us to have Sunday breakfast at a small coffee shop. We usually have idlis in Hyderabad. Now it was the turn for Omlettes. I looked outside from Caltex. It has windows without windows panes. So, I can look at the street very clearly.

I see young men roaming around. My kids are like that too, I thought. In Teach for India classrooms, fellows usually refer to their students as "my kids" and you can hear them chattering on and on about "my kids did this" and "my kids did that". But my kids weren't really kids. They were these 18 year old young boys. And I couldn't anywhere be their "Parent-like" at age of 28. But funny part is, I still feel I was. Although I haven't been able to carry it through much after that. I still know what are they up to but haven't been able to meet them since June last year. Like this week, I talked to Ajay at around 9:30 PM. I was about to crash and he so nicely said "Didi, you sound very tired. Please sleep nicely. Have a good night." They were simple words but they had lot of care and affection.

Anyway, back to Caltex, When I was seeing all these young boys, I can't resist thinking how I have a familiarity with them. I can pick up conversation with them and can continue forever. For a 28 years old woman, this is really strange behavior to talk with 20 years old boys on streets like this. I guess I sometimes just miss being a teacher to my students. And other time, there is this desire to be still able to work with children like those. They are very special.

My mother and I sat in the porch in the evening. She was trying to explain to me lot of things like how my sister has said that she will take one of her paintings to US. That's a life size painting, It took my mom 5 minutes to explain this in a  simple sentence. But I know it means a lot to her that her children value her work.

It means a lot to her to see me married as well. She talked about that too. But then she added, Don't get married unless you are sure of your happiness. She dispense words of wisdom even though making a sentence is so hard for her. I could hear remnants of her own experiences there.

Finally, she looked into my eyes and asked, "When are you going back?". I said, "I am here". But that wasn't enough. I couldn't answer more or promise more.

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