Thursday, May 1, 2014

Hyderabad Blues

We flew from Hyderabad this morning. The day was normal. We had some quiet family time, talking about some relevant and irrelevant stuff. The environment in home is different from my life there at Hyderabad. The priority list is different. Anyway, papa's doctor has clarity of limited time he has. We all three sisters decided that now we cannot leave everything to the caretaker family we have here. One of us has to be stationed here.

I am not sure how we will work out that configuration. I was thinking if there is something called sabbatical in a start-up. I know my company is very supportive but at such a nascent stage they can't afford to have a dormant employee. So, I still have to work out those options. Both my sisters are stretching themselves as well.

After practicing Vipassana for so many days, practicing in presence of everyone at home is going to be little tricky. My younger sister used to jibe at me when I used to come out after an hour long meditation. And I know it just doesn't fit in my family culture. They find me peculiar anyway. But somehow this time around, i have stopped caring about the inferences and judgement of others. I am more closely connected to myself and have more control on feelings. So, there is a protected self which nothing can touch. So, after everyone had an afternoon nap, I did try doing some Vipassana. And I could sense a solidified energy level  here, not as lucid as we have in hyd home. At the Vipassana meditation center, of course the energy has lot of vibrations. But here in my parents place, the vibrations are dull. When my mom was fine, the house used to glorify with her three hours long effort of cleaning, decoration, praying and cooking. Things are different now. 

Things have changed long back. I accepted them too. May be I have fully realized now. And it is time to forge ahead keeping the mental balance intact. 

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